Read CAREFULLY. .

No, not this post…….FOOD LABELS!

Case in point…this morning as I was leaving the house, I proudly and responsibly picked out my breakfast and snacks for today. The only reason I didn't grab lunch…well, there was a Snow emergency yesterday, thus yesterday's lunch was still safely in the fridge at work…..but anyways…… So I grab me a Breakstones Low Fat Cottage Cheese and fruit Double (apple cinnamon—my FAVORITE!!!), a Yoplait Strawberry yogurt, and a 2%Milk Mozzarella cheese stick……I'm feeling awful proud of myself.

So I get to work…and proceed to eat the LF Cottage Cheese and fruit…by the way, I should add here, I HATE cottage cheese. Or at least, I used to. Once on this ride to health, I told myself…YES, told myself…I don't care if you like it or not, there are some things you just can't have and there are somethings you are going to have to like….. Come to find out…I like cottage cheese now. Even plain. But the Breakstone doubles make it ….doubly… better J

Today is "one of those" days for me. Women, you know what I'm talking about. Men, you know to avoid us during those days….. So around 10am, I pull out the yogurt and eat that. As I'm scraping the last little bit out……. I take a good look, a REALLY good look, at the label. First off…this thing is 170 calories…. I usually only report 100-120. Then I see the fat content……..15 freaky grams!!!!!! WT???? Seems I picked up my KIDS' yogurt thinking it was my Yoplait Light. They look the same except for that Light part.

So I'm kicking myself for not paying attention……But then again, isn't that EXACTLY how I got here? By either avoiding or not paying attention. 'Nuf said. It's over. It's done. It's not the end of the world. But tomorrow (and every other day) I know to look at what I'm grabbing to put into my mouth….

Snow Days. . .

If you watch the news, read the paper, listen to the radio…you've heard that the East Coast has recently been pummeled by snow storms. I live in Richmond, VA in the heart of the pummeling zone. Yesterday morning my kids got in their carpool vehicle and proceeded carefully to school (on the OTHER side of town), a light snow was falling, but no accumulation was expected. Uh-huh. On the way to school, light snow turned into a full blown BLIZZARD. Snow was falling heavily and quickly. The wind was gusting 30-40mph. Upon arrival to school, my kids' carpool was denied entrance into the parking lot and told to "turn around, school is now closed." Therefore, putting my two 10 year olds, another 10 year old, a 6 year old, a 7 year old, and an 8 year old …along with their 30-something driver, BACK on the roads that the school was saying was too dangerous…..WTH? Those kids cover 3 families…..not only did we have to go into emergency mode to find care at 8:15am in the morning when EVERYONE in Richmond was losing their minds (the local public schools pulled the same trick, once kids were ALREADY on the buses)……but it put all the kids on the road AND their parents back on the road to come get them….in the heart of the storm. Well, needless to say, 2 hours later, and after a brief stint in a ditch, I arrived back home with 6 kids in tow. I remember now why I couldn't be Catholic…..sorry, but its true. They were all good and no big deals BUT 6 kids is A LOT of kids! And a lot of noise, and a lot of disagreements over what to do….and they couldn't go outside because they were all in school uniforms (no appropriate boots)….they were are great kids. I'm just not a great parent. I'm a good parent but obviously not a great one. Six is too much for me.

Okay, so 'nuff of that. But you had to have the back story to get the reason I write about Snow Days……they suck as far as my being able to "manage" my eating. Yesterday I had 1500 calories. So you're rolling your eyes right? I religiously watch my intake and stick around 1200. 300 calories difference. I'm not beating myself up. What I am doing is recognizing that I eat when I'm bored. Now….what to do. Of course, don't get bored. But there's a backup plan too….when I do get bored. The rule is nothing that I wouldn't eat away from home…. Yes, HOME is my weak spot to speak. At work, I plan my meals…I bring breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, and even my beverages (hot tea mostly but occasionally a Coke Zero). Its all I have available…what I bring. At home, its like a buffet. It's a self control issue. I need to control that urge to stand in front of the pantry and see what's good and then think I will just walk away……so NO MORE standing at the pantry (or fridge).

Its amazing how posting like this works for me. I'm all worked up…and yet just typing it is what I need to move the plan into motion…..The stress, the concern all dissipates as I spell out what I'm going to do different. It's a huge release.

I will highlite the positives of yesterday though……..because I could have been worse. So I will applaud my accomplishments but I will also recognize my weaknesses….. I fixed the kids a deep dish DiGiorno cheese pizza….. PIZZA is my all time favorite food…..in a previous lifetime I would have said it is a perfect food….grains, veggies, protein(meat), dairy….how COULD it be bad? LOL…we all know it can and is mostly bad. I didn't even take a taste, no licks of the sauce off the pizza cutter, no drip of cheese…NOTHING! I had fish for lunch. But then again, I had an ice cream sandwich later when all the kids had one………… I had salad and chicken for dinner. And a small piece (2 oz) of tuna for snack.

We stumble, we fall, we get up and do it over until we learn how to not stumble. Wiping myself off today and not looking back.

All or Nothing Type Gal. . .

That would be how I describe myself when it comes down to it. I'm either all in or all out. I probably wouldn't be a great gambler, so it's a good thing I've never been to Vegas. If I'm your friend, then through and through, I'm there. If not, WATCH OUT! I'm loyal to a tee, but give me reason to see you are not, and I'm outta there.

That said, I tend to be that way when trying to lose weight. I'm either at 150% or at 0%. I don't seem to be able to do a 75 or 80% effort. So for right now, I'd say I'm running right at 150%! But I'm going to embrace that and live with it and readjust my scale of what is success and what is not. On average, I'm eating 1200 calories per day and they are clean calories, though I might indulge every 3-4 days with some mini vanilla meringues (13 cookies-120 calories). The only other downfall, I like flavored creamer in my coffee…and not the dry stuff. So I compromise…I go with the sugar-free Vanilla creamer. It's a good compromise. I eat so much salad that farmers are sending me Valentines this year. But I find when I eat better, I crave GOOD food. Salads with grilled chicken on top with garbanzo and kidney beans, lots of onions and green peppers…YUM! And fat-free Kraft (yes, it is the best…I can definitely tell when its not Kraft) Ranch dressing.

In my hometown (Richmond, VA!) we have a grocery store called Ukrops (well, it just got sold, so I'm hoping it keeps a lot of the same stuff)…..and they do prepared foods like no other grocery store in the area. I can walk in and get grilled chicken—2 breasts already cooked prepackaged together. Go to the salad bar and get a huge salad. And viola---lunch and dinner for that day! They cut up fruit and make cups of any kind you could imagine. They also have a Chef's Case with the MOST amazing creations---one that I "found" a couple weeks ago---fruit coleslaw….no mayo! It's cabbage, apples, nuts, honey, pineapple juice…and I know I'm forgetting something else….but it is DELISH and really satisfies my sweet tooth!!!! They also have a killer curried chicken salad, which DOES have mayo…..but they also give free samples. SOOOO…I go and buy the coleslaw but only allow myself the mini-spoon sample of the curry chicken salad.

Said grocery store also has fresh made sandwiches and soups……the hearty black bean soup is OUT OF THIS WORLD and fantastically healthy. I have to add a protein (usually some sliced turkey or chicken breast) because I have a disorder that inhibits protein absorption, but otherwise, this is my ALL TIME favorite meal. It's amazing how much soup and salad can actually fill you up!

So anyways…I'm all in with my eating…and while for my usual standard this is eating 150% healthy. I understand that to maintain a healthy lifestyle this has got to become my 100%--my norm. I'm working on that.

The exercise side is coming along beautifully also. I'm averaging 4-5 days in the gym. My husband recently returned to school to get his degree in Homeland Security. His college (Virginia Commonwealth University) just had a MAJOR overhaul of its gyms (2). They reopened this semester and as his spouse and alumna, I got a KILLER rate on membership---under $240 a year!!!! If you're interested in seeing a gym done right…check out these pictures at http://www.flickr.com/photos/vcustudentaffairs/sets/72157623242887848/ . We've figured (my husband and I) a way that most of the time, I travel to campus with him and go to the gym while he is in class. He goes to class on M, W & Th evenings (7-9:40p). We are VERY LUCKY to have a wonderful family member who lives with us and can watch our twins (10 years old) during those periods. We get to see the boys from the time school ends at 3pm until around 6pm and do homework and dinner together. Then for bath-time and play-time and bed-time our Jennifer takes over while we go to campus. She's more of a big sister type to the boys and a daughter to us…..and she's indispensible and wonderful! I usually end up at the gym on Saturday and/or Sunday---depending on how I'm feeling that weekend. The gym also opens up on Sat. & Sun. for Family Days. Everyone can come in and workout (even the 10 year olds!) but mainly they come for the Aquatic Facility. It works out great! I work out for about 1 ½ hours while Dad and kids are in the pool downstairs and then I come down for about another 1 or so. It's great times. The aquatic area is HUGE and underutilized on weekends. They have big screen TVs, stereos, a mega slide, a VORTEX, lap lanes, basketball/rec areas, a hot tub……something for everyone!

On days in the gym, I'm always doing cardio. Last night we were on campus early---6pm. You should know, my husband HATES being late. If we are 15 minutes early for something, we are LATE in his book. I'm sure you'll hear more about this in the future, as I'm what I like to call "efficient" with my time, preferring more to arrive 5-10 minutes before the start of something…..Anyways, the boys have a sinus infection and not lots of homework last night, so they were ready to get home, get fed, and get baths and into bed…..so Dan and I were parking on campus at 6pm. He walked to his class and I walked to the gym. From 6pm til 9pm I completed:

• 5.8 miles, 310 calories, 30 min. – CrossTrainer
  
• 4780 meters, 240 calories, 30 min – Rowing Ergometer
  
• 1.05 miles, 147 calories, 20 min – Elliptical/Stepper
  
• 1.5 miles, 250 calories, 28 minutes – Treadmill (varying inclines and some running (4mph))
  
• 30 minutes of circuit training – legs
  
• 15 minutes of GOOD stretching
  

  
   

That's pretty much how a night goes for me….alternating upper and lower body parts for the weight training and throwing in abs usually (the ab suite was FULL last night for some reason…thus the GOOD stretching in the stretch suite) And I left at 9. I added it up, that leaves 5 minutes unaccounted for…..which is the time walking around between equipment and getting settled, etc…..not too bad J

 

But this is the thing……for 4 weeks….YES, 4 weeks, my scale has not moved! NOT ONE SINGLE TICK. (well, okay, this morning it did, but my "official" weigh in is Sunday)….So why can I still the glass ½ full? ***Pettiness Alert*** Because on the rower last night this 18-19 year old girl sat on the rower beside me and I could literally SEE her think…"heh, this OLD lady can do this, I can do this!" ….. Well THIS old lady rowed for 30 minutes and that young girl had to quit at less than 10 min. Now, I didn't start on the rower doing 30 minutes either…and I won't stop at that time, I'd like to do more…I can REALLY feel it when I work hard on the rower. But I have to admit, I LOVED feeling STRONG and underestimated. Isn't that basically why I felt moved to begin this FINAL journey…… I can be old or I can be fat. BUT I won't be both at the same time! Since I don't foresee being able to turn back time, it's time I did something about being healthy, strong, and fit.

 

Exercise is a very personal thing to me. I talk to myself and sing and think and meditate…all in my head, but my lips do move sometimes J

I've found it very therapeutic when dealing with issues, people, situations where I have no control. And the endorphins kicking in provide a clarity that is undescribable. For the longest time I would hear runners talk about the "runner's high". Two years ago I completed the Couch to 5K training (WHICH IS FABULOUS!!!!!! And WORKS!!!!) and could run for 3 miles. Yes, I know, 3 miles is NOTHING. But when I started, running 60 seconds was hard…..so 3 MILES was 3 FRICKIN MILES!!! YEAH BABY!...believe me, I was PUMPED. Anyways…..not until the last week of a 8 week program did the endorphins hear they were supposed to show up to my party…..but when they finally started coming….MAN, they are right! It's pretty amazing. And now that they know its an open invitation, any good heart pumping cardio gets 'em there! so about an hour into any night, here they come………I can honestly say I can empathize with drug addicts…. I can see why they keep wanting their drug of choice…..

 

Anyways, the drive to push through is not always there, so I just convince myself to wait, the big E's will show up….sometimes late, but always show up……There's plenty of times when I want to just stop. Completely. I'm too OLD for this. Then I remember. I can be OLD but I can't be fat at the same time….and which is EASIER to change? J There are plenty of times when the 20-somethings are looking HARD at me at the gym…. my beet red face, running as fast as I can at intervals, having a conversation with myself with my lips moving….I know they are thinking…"Please God, don't let me get THAT for a teacher"….LOL. Either that or "Please God, don't let her die while I'm here"….. and this is the sadistic part………THAT keeps me going. I remember being that…..20 and invincible. And you know what……….Now I'm 40 (in March) and INVINCIBLE! I can do this. I will do this. I WILL NOT BE OLD AND FAT AT THE SAME TIME and since I can't turn back the clock, I'm settling for OLD J