This is a Marathon not a Sprint. . .

Friday, April 30, 2010

Let's Get Serious(ly Honest) Here

I’m bouncing around the same numbers….on the scale that is.  I wouldn’t say I’ve been a failure. I’ve succeeded in doing absolutely nothing….Nothing to harm myself any further.  But I won’t go as far as to say it’s a success right now either.

Work is crazy right now.  We’ve got a HUGE tradeshow coming up in 21 days from now.  We do it every two years.  I age 10 for each one I think.  I hate mornings…I just don’t “DO” them.  And I have 2 kids still at home---twin 10 year old boys.  So being a late nighter is out also….since they have to be up and out of the house no later than 7am for carpool.  Then off to work for me.  Hubbie is back in school FT so he is MIA 4 nights a week…and exams are coming….so right now that ups to about 7.  After getting off work and getting the kids back home and settled, it’s 7 or so before I can hit the gym.  And 9 or 9:30 before I get home.  Doesn’t leave a whole lot of time.  And that’s with not seeing any of them until the weekend.  Somehow we’ve got to find a way to work a more family friendly schedule….I’m just afraid that means getting up earlier and running……which once I do it a week or so, will be fine…but thinking about it now….MORNINGS…YUCK!!!!

I did manage this week to work out Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday.  I did skip Thursday.  I plan on being back there tonite….and tomorrow….and Sunday.

I’ve kept up my C25K running….when I’m at the gym.  This week has been the first week back since skipping almost 2 weeks.  Yep, one step forward, two steps back.  I keep allowing myself to do that.  What am I scared of?  Why can’t I cross the line and stay over?

I’m repeating week 5.  I’ve increased the speeds on both the walk and run portions (even if they are both SLOW still) and now I’m staring down a 20min. run.  Which I know I can do, because I’ve done the C25K before…..but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have to convince myself again, again, and again that I can do this.  Or rather--- I CAN DO THIS!!!!.  And then just get up there (right now I’m running on the treadmill at the gym because I have to go so late---it’s not my preference to run inside)…and do it.

Same thing with this weight loss/health gain thing.  I can do this.  I CAN DO THIS.  Now just pull your fatass up there and DO IT!

Some good things to note: Scale says the same, jeans fit better.  Scale says the same, can run faster.  Scale says the same, went down a size in workout pants.  But let’s not beat around the bush.  The jeans could fit even better (or even go down a size), I could be losing some of that arm jiggle (which I haven’t), and I could be ready and willing for swimsuit season---which I am NOWHERE close to!!!!

Now, just imagine if I had REALLY put effort into it.  Of all things, THAT’S what really irks me.  I’ve let myself down because I’ve just not committed yet to 100%.  While there are positives…as noted above…. My mind keeps saying…YEAH, BUT what if????..............This month I’m going to find out…..what if?????

What if I run 5 days a week?  What if I keep up the weight training 3 days a week?  What if I DON’T have one cheat day?  What if I do drink water like I’m supposed to?  What if I allow myself to succeed?  What if _____ ???

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