I've escaped J
Actually, since Thursday of last week I've just been either a)sick b)busy or c)celebrating Spring and my birthday or d)all of the above.
Today I'm officially 40. What my older kids (and probably the younger ones, but not where I can hear) would call me old. I'm pretty sure I wear it fairly well. We'll see when the new driver's license comes…had to go renew it this morning.
On Jack Sh*t's blog today he talks about "why" being what he believes most people want to know when reading weight loss blogs. He's got a lot of questions. Good questions. Deep questions. Questions that I believe you must know the answer to in order to make this weight loss journey a success……the proverbial "last time" you go through the vicious cycle we all have been through before. Don't get me wrong. EVERY step is progress…whether you lose and regain, never lose, whatever. You always (hopefully) get close to answering the "why".
Why am I doing this? -- I want to lose weight and get healthy for several reasons. One is to live longer, stronger, healthier and to enjoy a level of quality of life that unhealthy people don't have. Weight is not an issue….unless it affects my ability to run, jump, escape, enjoy, let loose…etc. And right now it does. Not such much as 16lb ago. So I wonder what will it be like in 16 more lb? Maybe that will be the end. Maybe not. I'll decide when I get there. But I already have an underlying medical condition that I have to have regulated and monitored every 3 months. WHY would I set myself up to be unhealthy by being over my "healthy" BMI and at MORE risk of dying than I already am?.....so I guess I answer the question WHY with my own…..WHY would I not when I have so much to lose?
I saw this show once that put people in "emergency" situations they had to escape. They were always out of shape and usually overweight. Wildfires in the California Hills; an Earthquake ravaged city---these are the 2 scenarios I remember. The first couple (wildfire) couldn't run at all to escape the fire; they couldn't climb the hills; they couldn't traverse a ravine…..not without stopping every minute or so to breathe. And mind you, there was no fire, no smoke actually threatening them…only a stopwatch. They were then gifted a trainer for 2 weeks. They came back (lighter) and completed the course again. It was amazing to see the difference in 2 weeks! I live in Richmond, VA. We often have hurricane warnings as we are very close to the ocean (1.5 hours); we have tornadoes, we have floods, and we live very close to DC, Newport News, and Norfolk (terrorism). We could be in an emergency situation any day. I need to be able to assist my family in being able to protect and safeguard ourselves. I can't do that if I'm unhealthy.
Last night I did Couch to 5K Week 5 Day 2. Warmup walk 5 minutes, Run 8 minutes; Walk 5 minutes; Run 8 minutes; Cooldown walk 5 minutes. To a runner, I'm sure they'd chuckle at the measly 8 minutes x two. Last night, and still today, I feel nothing short of pure pleasure. 8 minutes can save my kids' lives, my husband's life; It can save my life! To anyone who has thought about running (jogging is more my speed as I only jog at 4.5-5mph and even slower if I need to!) Just get up and do it. Couch to 5K is an amazing program. I'd recommend it to ANYONE…regardless of weight. Work the program and the program will work for you. Complete each day….honestly….and then move on. Forget about speed. Walk as slowly as you have to….jog as slowly as you have to. There is a definite difference in gait and movement. Cheat and you only cheat yourself. Succeed and EVERYONE wins! Once you can do the time and complete the program…Start over and increase speed…. Some days will be daunting. I face a 20 minute straight run tonite. It'll be hard. There'll be tears. There'll be praying, There'll be music and sweat, and then there'll be VICTORY…….because my main reasons for doing this are these:
I can do this. I will do this. You can do this. You will do this. Some days will be great. Some will be good…and let's face it, some will outright SUCK. But wouldn't that happen whether or not you're healthy?
Happy St. Patty's Day to all!
It took forever to write today. Not because I couldn't think of anything. But rather, I couldn't focus on one thing.
This weekend was … there are so many words that I wanted to use… horrid, awful, depressing, disheartening…. Take your pick.
But then I decided that's exactly what I've done in the past. Concentrated on the hard part and not the long term. I did my last daily weigh in Sunday. And you probably can guess….no loss.
But, today, I can also say…no gain either.
And that's what I'm choosing to focus on.
I'm reading New Rules of Lifting for Women, which is supposedly FABULOUS! I'm going to be integrating this into my Body for Life schedule and combining the two. I've done a lot of research on Schuster and his ideals. I'm pretty impressed so far….and ready to drop the Barbie weights…although I never would have said they were light before….but I'm going feet-first into his start up and integrate in with my cardio. NROL4W advocates not cutting calories except minimally, which ties into my challenge last week. So I'm going to continue to follow that (even though I didn't post a loss)….and see how that works out for me. 1600 calories on non-workout days and 1900 on workout days…..
On week 5 of Couch to 5K this week. Running 5 and 8 minute stretches…. I remember this now. Soon, VERY soon (1 week?) they throw in a 20 minute run. I remember the FIRST time I ever completed it……ELATION! I can't wait to do it again! (and again, and again, and again!)
Remember-----Marathon not Sprint!
As you can tell, all my posts don't deal with losing weight exclusively. And sometimes different topics are unilaterally applicable to various things.
Right now, I'm in a holding pattern.
With my weight loss, which while is evident from the way my clothes fit (and having to get smaller jeans) and the way I look (everyone has said something) that my best friend and worst enemy, all at the same time, the scale REFUSES to move yet again.
I swear I could go back, copy posts from 3 weeks ago, and paste them in. It's a definite trend on my weight loss monitor. I lose well for one week, lose slightly the next week and hold for three to four weeks.
I honestly can't figure this out. I am working hard at making changes. I eat much better. I am at the gym on average 5 times a week.
I am getting stronger. I am no longer sore when I do my weight training. I can do four times as much ab work as I used to. I can run for 5 minutes at a time at 4.5mph, with 2.5 minute rests in between. I can climb 100 flights of stairs without passing out, and I have completed a Triathlon in a month……but I still wait for the approval of a $50 pound scale? I truly must be insane.
Of course the other alternative is that there is a conspiracy somewhere made up of my enemies (of which, I must confess, I can make MANY due to my openness). And said enemies have snuck into my house and rigged, YES, RIGGED my scale to read the same exact thing for weeks on end. Hmmpph… Little do they know, that from this day forward…. The scale rules me no more.
Oh, I will use it. I will notice my weight. But that's it. No living and dying by the scale. In fact, I think I'm putting that thing away. Weigh ins are ONLY allowed every other week....it'll kill me at first. But you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat. PURRRRRRR is all I can say.
Busy weekend. But as always, I've got a plan to conquer it! Twins have a basketball game tonite at 6, so we're headed to the local Italian restaurant—Roma's—here in our little town. It's ABSOLUTELY the best! The owner is always around. She is GRAND! The staff are wonderful! The food---well, the food is AMAZING! But my favorite thing about them lately-----when I explained to the waitress last week I was eating healthier….she and the kitchen staff were more than happy to grill me a chicken breast with onions and mushrooms—no oils and I tacked on a green salad with vinegar & oil for dressing even though none of that was on the menu….and it was reasonably priced. Hubby is doing Atkins---which works for him but not for me. They have a hamburger steak with onions (no gravy) and a double order of broccoli for him. He says it is out of this world good. And the twins, their favorite is pizza or pasta. So we'll all leave happy and fed. While DH and I watch what the twins eat, we're very careful about imprinting our unhealthy attitudes about food on them. They are free to order most anything they want….because they are SOOO active and burn off amazing amounts of calories. But they also know they are expected to eat well. So with their pizza or pasta I know they both will be getting salads.
Saturday is yet another basketball game. Early – 9am. Just checked my Google Calendar---which by the way, if you don't use, you should! My kids, DH, and I all have one that we share with each other. It makes keeping track of events, no matter where you are, EASY!!!!! I can use my Ipod to input things away from home. I LOVE IT!!!!! At noon, my gym has a Yoga class that I might try to make. Later that night, 8pm or so, the granddaughters are coming and spending the night.
Sunday, DH works….and the rest of us will head off to church. Daughter will come get grandkids. We'll eat something at home (Right now turkery and LF swiss on an all-grain sandwich round is my thing) and then head off to the Awards Banquet for basketball. That ends at 5 or so. At 7 we're meeting our older kids and their SO at a chain called Dave & Busters. It's an arcade/restaurant for adults. I've been told they have salads. I'm sure they can grill a piece of chicken.
I've found that if I plan it all out (for food) I tend to be much more successful. Failure to plan = Planning to fail.
I'm so happy today is Friday. It's supposed to touch 60!!!!! All weekend and Monday! Sounds like we might have A LOT of cases of Spring Fever coming up around here in Richmond, VA!
FOOD
Pizza -Just about any kind from anywhere. Pizza is was my all time favorite food. I wouldn't scarf down a whole one or anything but I could eat close to half if allowed to. Pizza Hut Pepperoni Lovers Thin Crust was my weapon of choice but there's a grocery store around town here that makes an amazing Veggie Pie also. I have since given up the PH pizza and found that the veggie pizza is made with 2% cheese….while the stats aren't great, 1/6 of their pizza is 430 calories; 15g fat; 25g of protein; 490mg sodium. If I'm working out that day and I'm "clean" on the rest of my day's food, I've conceded that once in a while (in my head that is 2 times a month) will allow myself a slice of pizza (which is the 1/6th serving).
Rice/pasta/potatoes I group these all into the same category.. I'm a carb addict. I know it and I admit it. But I also have an iron deficiency so I have to focus on really getting in my protein and iron every day. I could live on pizza, pasta, potatoes and rice. With the these I've learned to make better and smaller choices. Potatoes are now ½ baked potato with A-1 sauce. Try it, its great! A-1, while higher in sodium, is no fat. I REALLY watch my fat intake but monitor my sodium. In the course of 95% of my days, the sodium intake is just fine with watching it, I don't have to make major changes. But the fat intake, I really have to pick and choose. Rice is brown whole grain rice now. Pasta is now whole wheat, or even better, use spaghetti squash. And let's face it….it isn't the same thing, but it's a reasonable accommodation that I think tastes GREAT!
Mindless foods There's no particular food….just those that are "easy". Pop-tarts, crackers & squeeze cheez---(yes, I loved that stuff), spaghetti-o's, ramen noodles, and I could go on and on. I've just resolved that if the processing and preservatives can make CHEESE shelf stable, what the h#(( is it doing to my insides? That pretty much makes the urge to eat the junk go away.
Soda/Pop/Coke I call it Coke but really I drink Coke Zero. And where I'm from, you call all sodas either Pepsi or Coke….strange how local areas have their own way of doing that….When I lived in MN it was pop. Anyways…. I would drink 4-5 a day. Now I allow myself 1 a day but usually I drink about 1 every other day. My husband used to give me a hard time about opening one and taking a few sips and letting the rest go flat. I told him its worth it to me to take the sip and throw away $1 worth of soda than to buy 5-6 a day and actually drink them…..I'll take throwing away the $1 any day.
I saw this over at Tyler's blog and thought it'd be fun. Here's some random useless facts about me.
After a 2 hour marathon cardio session at the gym last night, I was wiped out! My original plans were to do a quick 15 min. warm up; 45-60 min. worth of upper body weight work, 30 minutes of C25K running (week4 day1) running, and a nice long interval bike ride to get the miles up for my previously mentioned Ironman Triathalon Challenge………………so much for plans.
Carpooled to campus again with DH. Off to class he goes, off to the gym I go. We're there by 6 (his class is 7pm, remember?) and he's not scheduled to get out til 9:40pm. Let's face it though, even the professors try to get those late classes out as early as possible. So he's actually usually done by 9pm. So I know I got at least 3 hours time.
Got to thinking…..DH says he's gonna commit to being more active and going to the gym with me. We'll PLAN on that being the case. In order for us both to be on upper body workout today, I couldn't do it last night. And if I gave him an excuse to NOT workout, doing separate workouts would be right at the top of his excuses. So I decided to nix the weights in favor of adding in more cardio………………..I guess I just didn't figure in the time factor though….
So I started with a nice 30 minutes 10K on the CrossTrainer. Actually finished warm-up, 10k, and cool down in 28 minutes but tacked on an additional 2 min. to round it out. Hmmmm….debated here. Should I run or should I bike or maybe row or stairstepper. Decided (why?) on the bike for the hour. And I pushed it. It was a great ride…..had it on random intervals, level 10. At the end of the hour, I thought, maybe that wasn't such a good idea….I got a 30 min. walk/run session coming up………. so I hopped off the bike, refilled the old water bottle…and on to the treadmill. Day1 Week4 C25K—DONE! I won't lie to you, it was HARD. The 3 minute runs were fine. But the two 5 minute runs were KILLER! Sunday evening I had worked hard on the lower body. Only to be followed by marathon cardio last night AND THEN with the run on the end…..AM I CRAZY?---Don't answer that.
As I finished wiping off the treadmill and stepped down……..I realized…………I'm tired! I looked left ---there were plenty of empty stair machines and elliptical and crosstrainers. I looked right----empty bikes and rowers. Hmmm…decisions. So you know what I did? I headed to the water fountain, again refilled the bottle, and got my stuff out the locker and headed up to the student commons (.25 miles away). I was done. Should have I pushed it more? Should I have eeked out another 20 or 30 minutes? Why do I feel like I "cheated" on my time when I totally rocked it for 2 HOURS?????
So walk up to the commons, find a seat, open up my water and ½ of a protein bar…..by the way………Cookie Dough Protein Bars ---can't remember who makes them but it's a red package…..TOTALLY ROCK! I mean, they actually (well, ¾ of the way) taste like the sweet stuff! So much so, I only could eat ½. I only had to wait about 30 minutes for DH and we walked back to the car and headed home together.
Told him on the way home, for some reason, I was craving a piece of veggie pizza BADLY! ---could have been something to do with the fact that there is a pizza place in the student commons???!!!--- But also that I felt like if I ate that pizza I'd be again "cheating". Explained to him that in experimenting with managing my caloric intake to my BMR I should be eating around 1500 calories in order to just live….and that I had plenty for one piece of veggie pizza from our grocery store chain (they list their nutritional info and they use 2% cheese)—is how I know I could have it. But no matter how much I KNEW I could have it, I just couldn't convince myself I really could have it. We had a really good discussion about it. Sometimes it really helps to bounce things off of someone……Have I said lately how much I adore my husband? He's my best friend and he's absolutely WONDERFUL! I know we all get hung up about how we look when dealing with weight issues…..and he needs to lose about 25 more pounds….but I think he is the most handsome, sexy, attractive man I've ever known. I could care less about his dropping 25 pounds for looks…………..high blood pressure and high cholesterol run in his family. His dad had them and all his brothers have them too. All of them are on medication for it. I want my DH around for a LONG LONG LONG time. That's why I want him healthy….whether it means dropping weight or not.
Anyways…I digress….by the time we got to our exit….I had decided in order to have a more healthy relationship with food, I needed to stop feeling restricted from anything and learn to live with it. I mean, seriously, have you ever seen a skinny person turn down food? Most of my "skinny" friends LOVE food. They just love a lot LESS of it than I used to. They take a bite, enjoy it, and leave the rest. Or they make choices. I made a choice…..because I needed to maintain my calorie load for the day and I was way under (even after ½ a protein bar!!!???) I was going to get the pizza.
Long story short…..no veggie pizza at the kitchen. They had cheese but that's not what I wanted. What I really wanted was the cooked onions, green peppers, and mushrooms. So I didn't get the pizza. I did pick up a piece of grilled chicken and rice pilaf. We get home and sit down to eat (LATE!!!—10pm) and we're talking about effort.
In my eyes, I feel like I'm giving 123% effort towards being more healthy and losing weight. How come the scale doesn't reflect that? I sweat A LOT at the gym. I'm not on level 1 on anything. I push hard on the rower, crosstrainer, elliptical, treadmill…everything! If this journey was based on effort, I'd be Heidi Frickin Klum by now. ARRRRGHHHHH… I can control everything else BUT this!!!! It's maddening. Then I realized. I am controlling this. The scale is headed down. My clothes are getting looser. People are noticing. I can now RUN 6mph (even if only for 1-3minutes) but I can run 4.5mph for 5 minutes. But most of all… I can FEEL it. I don't get out of breath climbing 10 flights of steps. I want to be outside playing and running with my kids. I sleep better. I wake up easier. I am not as tired as I used to be. And………….ladies, who are on this journey also, let me know if you've experienced this………………..but my sex drive has kicked into Super Hypersonic Overdrive. I think my DH actually faked sleeping last night J so he could get some sleep. Maybe that's the REAL reason I want him to workout more??????
Headed out of work Friday afternoon with BIG plans…….a good cardio workout and weight training for Friday night. My kids went to a basketball game with a friend (double header actually) and my husband was at work but when he got off, needed to do some studying. So I headed to the gym. First off, I did pat myself on the back a little bit. I would have normally just hunkered down at home with some good ol' high calorie high fat foods and done NOTHING. Vegged out in front of the TV maybe. Instead I completed Week 3 Day 3 of the Couch to 5K program……Have I said enough how much I LOVE this running program?......then jumped into a really good upper body workout…..then moved on to an INTENSE 40 minute Crosstrainer cardio session, ended up by a 60 minute bike ride……Everything but the bike ride was "normal". I added the bike ride on because our gym has a Cumulative Ironman Triathalon challenge going on February – April. I have finished everything but, I'm sure you guess, the bike ride……a total of 112 miles is needed. After my ride Friday night (and another shorter one yesterday) I only have 21.77 miles left…. But I had been hoping to finish the challenge in one month instead of three. Not too shabby though… I have rowed 15,000+ meters and walk/run 26.2+ miles. I'll finish the biking this week for sure though.
I skipped working out Saturday all together as I had concession stand duty for my twins' basketball team. On a great note: I didn't eat ONE thing from the stand. Nothing, nada, zip, zero. My hubby made me a turkey sandwich round and brought that and some baked chips to me for lunch.
Sunday I convinced DH that having him workout with me is very important to me….and good for me….but mostly important to me. (Hey, at least I can own that) So he, after 8 hours at work, agreed to meet me at the gym and follow my workout regime. I did pare it down considerably. We started with 15 min. warmup on the Crosstrainer and moved on to the lower body/ab workout routine. DH works for the local phone company and they have "testing" this Thursday on pole-climbing (SERIOUSLY!) and he was afraid he'd be sore, so I had him do my weight load instead of what he probably should have done. DH is mucho strong in the legs….not a bit of flab or fat to be seen. Poor thing, barely has an ass either……..he carries most all of his weight around the "spare tire" area. He was in the army when he was younger and became a GREAT runner….if any of you have been in the army, you'll probably know what I mean…he became the all-time crossing guard because his endurance and speed was so much higher than the rest of the platoon. Lost a TON of weight FAST there. Needless to say, he BREEZED through the lower body weight sets….. But then we hit the abs….and I've been working at this about 4-5 weeks longer than he has….I am by NO MEANS tight but I was able to outlast him in the ab workout. And I do more ab workout than called for on the sheet….because my abs just need that much more work…..(Thanks to FOUR kids, one set of twins!)
From there, we climbed on to the treadmill. And even though I was going to move on to Week4 Day1 of C25K, I decided that would be morale shattering for me if I was on Week 1 day 1 struggling and the person besides me was breezing through day 1 of week 4. So I decided to step back down to W1D1. And you know what, it was FUN! We walked at the same time, ran at the same time. I was able to work on my "speed". Up to this point, I'm not a fast runner or even a slow runner. I'd call myself a mediocre jogger. But yesterday I stepped it up! Two notches! I walked at 4mph and RAN, yes, you saw it here first, RAN at 6mph. Albeit it was running for one minute every 90 seconds for 20 minutes, but I DID IT! And I'm going to OWN that too! DH did the entire W1D1 and it was tough. I remember being there. You think running for one minute is easy peasy if you do no other exercise? Go do it---Walk 90 seconds in between and do it again….8 times! He wanted to stop after run 5, run 6, and run 7. But I convinced him each time he was one round closer to stopping….he could do it! And in the end he did! I was so happy for him and me! I was proud of him…and still am. He was 20-something in the army. He's 40-something now. BIG DIFFERENCE!!!!! But he's giving it a try! And we're spending time together doing it!
Today he's back at work and so am I. But we've decided that no matter what it takes, we're going to figure out how we can work-out at least an hour a day together.
